My latest K pop dilemma began a while ago. Teen Top’s songs
and choreography have been so consistently amazing that I began to worry that
they were my new favourite K pop band. I’m a loyal fan, however, and having
someone knock Beast off the top spot really didn't sit very well with me. I didn’t think
I could do it. But Beast’s latest single was so underwhelming that I didn’t
even watch all the live performances. I actually can’t recall the name of it,
and I certainly did not pre-order it as I did with Midnight Sun (which, let’s
be fair, wasn’t totally amazing either and far too focused on rnb vibes for me
to get into it as an album). Not even Hyunseung’s beautiful blonde bowl could
entice me to watch the video more than three times.
Since Teen Top came out with Crazy, every song and video has
completely captivated me. High-energy, sensory-overload, cannot even compute
what is going on, unbelievably amazing. So what’s the problem? I’ve never really bonded with Teen Top as people. I
guess that’s what happens when you stick a bunch of 14-17 year olds in a band
who don’t really know who they are yet. They seem like lovely boys, don’t get
me wrong, but when I compare them to Beast, who are all so individually
wonderful (apart from Yoseob, he can fuck right off), something just doesn’t
quite click. Maybe I just haven’t watched enough shows with Teen Top, and they
do have their moments (dance cover of Big Bang’s Fantastic Baby anyone?!), and
perhaps I’ll come back to this and eat all my words and Teen Top will just be
my favourite band and that’ll be that, but until then…
I’ve had to start re-categorizing my favourites. The list and
rank obsession returns…
Beast is my favourite band for the boys and their
personalities, not to mention the fact that my ultimate dream babe (Hyunseung,
in case anyone hadn’t guessed) is in them.
Teen Top is my favourite band for songs, video and
choreography.
Here are a couple reasons why:
1. Hyunseung trying to speak English and giving his young sister away...for four stars. Or something.
2. Teen Top's recent neon-infused live performance of Rocking.
3. Beast - V I U (Very Important You). Very Important Video.
4. Teen Top's Fantastic Baby dance cover.
5. Hyunseung's funny story. Less funny for the story than for Kikwang and Doojoon's reactions to the story.
6. Teen Top - Be Ma Girl. The COLOURS.
7. Beast BTS Beautiful Night. Leader lost the plot. DISCO NIGHT DISCO NIGHT.
8. Teen Top covering Bieber. Their pronunciation! <3
I need help. I am addicted to a song. Teen Top, you have well and truly blown my mind. This is the greatest K pop song to have emerged since...well the last song I got obsessed with, which I think was B1A4's Beautiful Target way back in September.
What a banger! The boys have really excelled themselves. So much talent despite having so few years of age between them. Bless! And the styling for the most part is very much to my liking. Oh Niel, that fringe and those glasses! Like I said: Blowing. My. Mind. My only slight criticism is this: What the hell have they done with CAP? I can deal with it, but only due to flawlessness of the rest of the video and song.
The dance is phenomenal. My favourite part is when they sing 'stop stop breaking my heart', on the word 'heart' their hands go to their crotch. I know where their heart lies...
And they are completely killing me with all the live performances, which I obviously watched one after another.
I am so excited about this song. I wish it played as I walked down the street, soundtracking my day.
In most areas of my life, I like to make lists, put things into order and decide upon preferences. I’m not sure about the psychology behind it, but it must have something to do with making sense of the chaos around me. My love for K pop does not escape this list-making and ordering. In every band, I absolutely must have a favourite, usually decided upon after watching a variety show about the band, as of course I am not entirely superficial and personality plays a massive part for me. For example – and it pains me to say it – Hyunseung was not always my favourite in Beast! I know, shocking. It was Kikwang. I attribute this judgement error largely to the fact that the song I first obsessed over and played on repeat was Say No, which has Hyunseung sporting a rather unflattering pork pie hat that covers too much of his pretty little face. It was only after watching a few episodes of Beast Almighty and Idol Maid that his particularly ‘special’ personality began to shine through and he completely captured my heart.
So, you can understand my distress when, having been obsessing over K pop for a year now, that I still couldn't pick a favourite in Shinee. I was starting to that think I may just have to accept that they are all wonderful, unique, handsome boys with their own special qualities and that they all share an equal place in my heart, which I was finding would be no mean feat. I knew it would constantly niggle at the back of my mind, the fact that I didn't have a favourite. I always thought I just had to decide between Taemin, Jonghyun and Key, as they were always my favourites in pictures and music videos, and so I watched the Maknae Rebellion episodes with them in it, but it did not help the confusion.
Taemin is too adorable, Key is too perfect and Jonghyun is just so great. At the point of watching Maknae Rebellion, Jonghyun was my provisional favourite. I said he was my favourite, but – and I say this with more than a little shame – he had largely become my favourite due to me inexplicably having difficulty telling the others apart. Yes, I was still getting them confused on occasion, embarrassing, but I could not mistake those dino features anywhere. And so by default I began to prefer him. But upon watching Maknae Rebellion, my delight in him began to wane, as I discovered his speaking voice had a very strange quality to it, like he was underwater or trapped in a bubble. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good speech impediment, but there was something in the tone of his voice that irked me somewhat. Back to the drawing board. Key, Taemin, or could I learn to love Jonghyun for all his greatness despite the voice?
So now I have just watched Hello Baby thinking that it might clear things up for me, but instead, it threw Onew and Minho into the mix! Oh Minho, with his fatherly ways and gentle manners, I would gladly harvest some offspring with him (as long as he took care of it and I’d never have to deal with it, obviously). However, Onew’s awkwardness when confronted the child, clumsily backing into the corner, ignited a little spark somewhere within me. Had I found a kindred spirit in…Onew?! Could it really be…? I pushed it to the back of mind. I said terrible things about him in the Hello Hello video, for which I fear the guilt will always haunt me. Will I ever be able to absolve my sins against Onew? Only time will tell. I was slowly discovering his radiant personality and feeling myself even more conflicted than ever before. I had previously professed mild feelings of disgust for him before, but what were these feelings rising in my chest and making my heart flutter at the sight of him? I ignored them. I concentrated on the Sexy Three. It’s easier to decide between three than five.
All of these boys showed such magnificent qualities throughout the series that I figured I would just have to love all five equally. I even came up with a plan; I would have a child with Minho but marry Jonghyun. We would adopt Taemin and hire Key as a babysitter and I would have a steamy affair with Onew as clearly he could not be trusted around the kids. I thought my plan was foolproof. Nothing could possibly burst my bubble now, I had it all sorted…
Until Onew kept niggling away at me. I couldn’t deny it any longer. It was Onew! I surprised myself more than anyone, but at last by episode twelve, the deal had been sealed. My heart had been well and truly captured by Onew! Further research and investigation only added fuel to the fire. Jessica alerted me to the Onew Condition, which has its own very special place in the Urban Dictionary. A very special place for a very special boy.
A condition which a member of SHINee has. Named after the leader of SHINee, Lee Onew (Lee JinKi), the condition is quite contagious. If you are crashing into random things, tripping over your own feet, craving for chicken, or making lame jokes that make the atmosphere awkward, you might just have this condition. There is no cure for this condition, but it might warm your heart that you aren't the only person who is suffering from this condition.
This condition was first named when fans of SHINee, known as Shawols, noticed that Onew kept making cute mistakes. At first they thought that it was very cute of Onew, but as time passed, they began to suspect that Onew was doing this for fanservice, and began to worry that he would hurt himself. His fellow members, Key and Jonghyun, have confirmed that this condition is real, and that Onew is not acting.
Onew has replaced Hyunseung as the background on my laptop. Yes. I’ve gone that far. There’s no going back. For the first time, I feel 100% content in my choice of favourite in Shinee. Onew, you’re the one.
Kan, where has your face gone? I couldn't help but notice in the new video it had altered yet again, but upon further research, I was mildly disconcerted to discover that besides the continual tweaking of your facial features for each new video, half of your face has, in fact, gone missing since your debut. These predebut images are concerning, mostly because they make me a strong advocate of plastic surgery.
Fast forward to debut. Is this even the same person?! Kan, WHERE HAS YOUR FACE GONE?
I mean, it obviously is, because despite whatever has been removed and/or added, the surgeons appear to have left his uneven eyes intact, which I find rather endearing.
Then Wanna Be Your Love. The ridiculous headgear does a good job of distracting one from the fact that his face is different yet again, but you can't pull the wool over my eyes. I know what's going on. I don't care because despite your expressions looking completely insincere due your original face muscles having been ripped out, you're being molded into an even finer specimen.
So naturally, when Kan tweeted a picture of himself holding his jaw on to his face with a sticking plaster on his cheek and eyes hidden behind shades, I could only assume that in the next video, I could expect a new Kan.
I was not disappointed. The silver locks were not the only style alteration. Nice big eyes Kan, looking a lot more even I must say. I think you lost some cheek as well. And are you Benjamin Buttoning? I swear you're getting younger by the day, and noona here is not complaining.
While perusing tumblr for inspiration for this post, someone said of Kan 'You’re too perfect to be real ♥'. That's because he isn't. This post is by no means a criticism, but rather a celebration of the finely crafted, ever evolving artwork that is Kan.
This is the perfect song for Christmas, with a little tragedy thrown in for good measure. It's so cute and cheerful, but there is a massive gaping hole. Not even Yejun's adorable smile can fill it. And noticing that Kan's face has changed YET AGAIN does not distract me from the fact that I am all too painfully aware that this F Cuz's first video without Lee U.
It has taken me some time to adjust to the fact that Hyunseung is in fact a man now (he is twenty two after all, almost geriatric in k pop years!) and no longer the wide eyed, confused youngster of yesteryear. And I really thought he had peaked around the Soom/Idol Maid era, but oh no, Hyunseung you have truly blossomed. He had to though, standing next to Hyuna would put most men to shame, but Hyunseung pulls it off effortlessly.
Hyuna! God, I even know which one I fancy more. I'm shocked at how much I love this video. Therapy is on hold. I am, however, having trouble (maker) problems following the plot of the video. I don't know if it's just because I'm so distracted by the, erm, visuals, or it's just not very coherent. I think it's the former. I'm sure all that bugging going on has a story behind it, it's just so hard when those two are flaunting their sexy in my face! All of their sexy! Right in my face!
I feel like I have given my all in nurturing Hyunseung in the creche and now he's flown the nest, a fully fledged babe in his own right. I think our relationship has changed, irreversibly, but that's OK. It's his time to shine.
Oh yeah, the song's not bad either.
Wednesday, 30 November 2011
Oops, missed this delightful treat. Still no closer to figuring out what the object is, but it's utterly marvellous seeing Mir hold up an old man's ANUS to his face. Mir, you are incorrigible. I love that cheeky glint in your eye.
