Oops, missed this delightful treat. Still no closer to figuring out what the object is, but it's utterly marvellous seeing Mir hold up an old man's ANUS to his face. Mir, you are incorrigible. I love that cheeky glint in your eye.

Mir, seriously?

Can anyone explain to me what in the name of GOD Mir has on his chest? It looks like a statue of an old man with a toothbrush up his anus? Is that really what it is? The most disturbing thing is Mir’s expression. He looks perplexed as to how this old man with item up his anus got on his chest in the first place, but does not seem particularly alarmed by its presence. He appears resigned to his fate. 
‘I am a pretty boy with double eye lids’? Really, Mir? Is that really the message this picture conveys? Your oddball behaviour is definitely what endeared me to you in the first place, and don't get me wrong, I'm partial to a bit of anality in the name of humour, but I'm worried that this sort of thing might land you in trouble with your manager hyungs. It's not quite as bad as Eli tweeting pictures of kids in urinals but whatever, Ogre Thighs can go to jail for all I care. 
Maknae, back in the creche. We need to have words.

Wanna be your love love

So I promised my friend Caitman I would put together a playlist to introduce her to the magic of K pop. Rather than being a chronological history it's a completely subjective account of my own descent into k pop oblivion. At this point, I would like to take the time to express my eternal gratitude to Jessica Jane Howard and, through her, Bunny Bissoux, for my own induction. I am forever in their debt, and a lot of my trivia has undoubtedly sprung from long discussions with Jessica over coffee in the library when we really should have been grasping the fundamentals of Foucault instead of discussing Yejun's latest twitter post. The first K pop video I got obsessed with was F.Cuz's Wanna Be Your Love, also known as Friend’s Graduation, and is about graduating from friends to boyfriend and girlfriend. It got put on repeat, largely due to the excessive number of lip-bites, particularly from Lee U and maknae Yejun. It pains me a little to watch this now, as Lee U was my first K pop love and will always have an extra special place in my heart, but alas he has left the band. Rumours abound that he will be replaced by not one but TWO babes (and I can confirm that they are babes), but I feel that no amount of babes can replace Lee U. The styling is supreme, Kan's headgear is spectacular.  Such a simple video, yet says more about these lovely boys than any amount of CGI special effects could ever convey. 

And Lee U's sweater - no need to ask twice. 

An Open Letter to Cube Entertainment

Dear Cube Entertainment,

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? Do I even want to see the full length Trouble Maker video if the teaser has incised such violent rage within me that the only thing I can do is watch it over and over again in the vain hope that through repetition I become desensitised and the uncontrollable Jealous Rage burning inside me eventually dissipates and I can enjoy the video purely for its artistic merit? So far, this plan has proved unsuccessful. Freudian repetition-compulsion is when we repeat traumatic events again and again, such as watching a video of the love of one’s life in a compromising situation with a massive babe over and over, unable to stop. I’m pretty sure if Freud wrote ‘Beyond the Pleasure Principle’ today, I would be a case study. This is what you have done to me, Cube. You have turned me into a neurotic worthy of psychoanalytic study. I hope you are proud of yourself.

And to subject Hyunseung to such advances from Hyuna is surely tantamount to sexual abuse? There is ample evidence to support my hypothesis that Hyunseung may not have his mental faculties entirely intact, and his innocent renderings of filthy English songs leave me in no doubt that he is the purest of the pure. He needs someone to look after him, not caress his face and awaken in him feelings that he may not yet understand. Going back to Freud, it is these sexual excitations that manifest themselves in trauma in later life if the recipient does not yet fully grasp the implications of them. Cube, it is time that you handed him back to the crèche, where he can play with Minhwan, Seunghyun and Mir, and never have to worry about the trials and tribulations of getting sexy with Hyuna. It will only confuse and upset him.

Perhaps due to the fact that both Hyunseung and I have undoubtedly been traumatised by your decision to put together this subunit, you should, as a responsible entertainment company, put us into therapy. Together. We can work through our issues together. This is the only possible and acceptable outcome.

I sincerely hope you will consider my proposal.