Dear Cube Entertainment,
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? Do I even want to see the full length Trouble Maker video if the teaser has incised such violent rage within me that the only thing I can do is watch it over and over again in the vain hope that through repetition I become desensitised and the uncontrollable Jealous Rage burning inside me eventually dissipates and I can enjoy the video purely for its artistic merit? So far, this plan has proved unsuccessful. Freudian repetition-compulsion is when we repeat traumatic events again and again, such as watching a video of the love of one’s life in a compromising situation with a massive babe over and over, unable to stop. I’m pretty sure if Freud wrote ‘Beyond the Pleasure Principle’ today, I would be a case study. This is what you have done to me, Cube. You have turned me into a neurotic worthy of psychoanalytic study. I hope you are proud of yourself.
And to subject Hyunseung to such advances from Hyuna is surely tantamount to sexual abuse? There is ample evidence to support my hypothesis that Hyunseung may not have his mental faculties entirely intact, and his innocent renderings of filthy English songs leave me in no doubt that he is the purest of the pure. He needs someone to look after him, not caress his face and awaken in him feelings that he may not yet understand. Going back to Freud, it is these sexual excitations that manifest themselves in trauma in later life if the recipient does not yet fully grasp the implications of them. Cube, it is time that you handed him back to the crèche, where he can play with Minhwan, Seunghyun and Mir, and never have to worry about the trials and tribulations of getting sexy with Hyuna. It will only confuse and upset him.
Perhaps due to the fact that both Hyunseung and I have undoubtedly been traumatised by your decision to put together this subunit, you should, as a responsible entertainment company, put us into therapy. Together. We can work through our issues together. This is the only possible and acceptable outcome.
I sincerely hope you will consider my proposal.
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